The Burden of Perfectionism

I had an amazing time in Ojai, California with my teacher Byron Katie last week. At 81 years young, she is a living example of someone who is free from stressful thinking and teaches all her students her mindfulness method of The Work(TM) to help free us from our attachment to beliefs, ideas or concepts about ourselves, the world or other people.

When I came home, the next day there was “clean up day” at our yacht club. All members are invited to go help with the gardens and grounds, making it look wonderful. Many hands make light work.

As I was weeding the flagstones and pulling out dandelions from between the cracks, a woman walked past and said “I can tell you're a perfectionist”, she saw I was trying to get every last bit of weed out. In another moment I might have got a little defensive or felt she saw that was a problem, or I would have experienced being criticized for taking too much time weeding when there were other jobs to do… but having just spent those days in California with Byron Katie, I listened to the words and found myself in total agreement.

Yes, I am a perfectionist.

How that plays out is in my desire to see the world as perfect: As It Is. In every moment.

To see the world as perfect. All. The. Time.

That's my work. And the moment I don't see the world as perfect, I know what to do with those thoughts in my mind - I can write them down and question them with The Work(TM).

So even when I don't see things as perfect, that is perfect too, as I get to question my stressful mind.

Which of course got me thinking about Yoga. How many times have I arrived at my mat, thinking I will do the perfect pose, have the perfect amount of time on the mat, have the perfect breath, and become one with a perfect body from all my practice?

After all, “practice does make perfect” they say!

But that's not the kind of perfect that brings peace.

That kind of perfectionism brings the idea that perfect is always somewhere in the future.

What if I can see my body, my breath, my practice as perfect NOW? My sore hip is perfect. My slight headache, too is perfect. My aching foot.

These sensations are there to awaken me. To help me. To let me know I'm alive.

There are not there to show me yet another place of imperfection, that needs fixing. They are there to show me “there is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in” as Leonard Cohen sang.

So yes, I'm a perfectionist. With nothing to do other than acknowledge how perfect everything is.

The cracks, the weeds, the pulling of the dandelions, the yoga practice, this, and every moment is perfect when I drop my stories of how it should be and love it how it is.

Hope you can find yourself feeling how perfect life is for you today!